Bizarre Headlines in News III

[CrimsonJazz]

If I were to use that orifice for shoplifting, it would be something a whollllllllle lot more valuable than cookie dough.

Such as? Pringles? Now THAT'S dedication to unhealthy snacking!

 

[dayhiker]

Such as? Pringles? Now THAT'S dedication to unhealthy snacking!

It seems like there would be some sort of dollar value to diameter limiting ratio at work here.

 

[CrimsonJazz]

It seems like there would be some sort of dollar value to diameter limiting ratio at work here.

Ah, I see what you're getting at here. So totally not a barber pole...........

 

[dayhiker]

Ah, I see what you're getting at here. So totally not a barber pole...........

And not Captain Koons father's war watch.

 

[Elefantman]

View attachment 52119

Rectum? I damn near killed em!

And that's why they call him Scooby Doo

 

[75thru79]

DC sandwich slinger ID’d as DOJ employee, fired from position after hurling sub at federal agent

Sean Charles Dunn, who hurled a Subway sandwich at a federal agent in Washington, DC, earlier this week, has been fired from his DOJ role, according to US Attorney General Pam Bondi.

nypost.com

I hope the sandwich was from Subway. Their stuff is disgusting. I can't believe anyone would eat one.

 

[CrimsonJazz]

DC sandwich slinger ID’d as DOJ employee, fired from position after hurling sub at federal agent

Sean Charles Dunn, who hurled a Subway sandwich at a federal agent in Washington, DC, earlier this week, has been fired from his DOJ role, according to US Attorney General Pam Bondi.

nypost.com

I hope the sandwich was from Subway. Their stuff is disgusting. I can't believe anyone would eat one.

Dave Chappell's take on Jussie Smollett was hilarious. Him acting out the cops reaction to Smollett being out that late for a Subway sandwich was spot on. I can't link it, unfortunately, but it's on YouTube.

 

[CrimsonJazz]

Wild video shows Dems’ pick for SC gov’s race being arrested in his underwear — while calling himself God and Superman

“I’m gonna kick your f–king teeth in,” he says at one point, referencing a Republican rival.

nypost.com

Wild, newly released dashcam footage shows the Democrats’ choice to run for governor in South Carolina getting arrested recently in just his underwear — while swearing, using the n-word and referring to himself as both God and Superman.

Those Dems just keep raising the bar, don't they folks? And before anyone gets their shorts in a knot, please note the blue font there.

 

[jthomas666]

DC sandwich slinger ID’d as DOJ employee, fired from position after hurling sub at federal agent

Sean Charles Dunn, who hurled a Subway sandwich at a federal agent in Washington, DC, earlier this week, has been fired from his DOJ role, according to US Attorney General Pam Bondi.

nypost.com

I hope the sandwich was from Subway. Their stuff is disgusting. I can't believe anyone would eat one.

It was. No word on if it was a club sandwich.

 

[75thru79]

Man with ‘world’s largest willy’ slips, breaks arm in shower because giant penis got in the way: ‘It was a very embarrassing accident’

Being well-endowed isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

nypost.com

In case you haven't noticed the sling I've been wearing.........

 

[CrimsonJazz]

It was. No word on if it was a club sandwich.

Where's he's going, he's gonna find out the real meaning of getting assaulted by a footlong.

 

[Huckleberry]

Wild video shows Dems’ pick for SC gov’s race being arrested in his underwear — while calling himself God and Superman

“I’m gonna kick your f–king teeth in,” he says at one point, referencing a Republican rival.

nypost.com

Those Dems just keep raising the bar, don't they folks? And before anyone gets their shorts in a knot, please note the blue font there.

What an embarrassment! I wonder what he was on that led to that display. At least the party seems to be calling for him to step down.

 

[CrimsonJazz]

What an embarrassment! I wonder what he was on that led to that display. At least the party seems to be calling for him to step down.

It's always nice to see people behave how they are supposed to. I remember being mildly surprised when the Republicans went after George Santos as hard as they did. Someone should tell both parties that we need more of this, not less.

 

[jthomas666]

Where's he's going, he's gonna find out the real meaning of getting assaulted by a footlong.

or not...

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1956156903764951346

 

[92tide]

or not...

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1956156903764951346

 

[92tide]

 

[75thru79]

Scholars Now Believe Samson Slew 1,000 Philistines With A 6-Inch Italian B.M.T.

WORLD — Old Testament scholars announced today that new evidence has revealed Samson actually slew one thousand Philistines with a 6-inch Italian B.M.T. on wheat.

babylonbee.com

 

[75thru79]

Cheetah Lounge in Midtown Atlanta to be replaced by high-rise for student housing, developer says

So they are tearing down the Cheetah for student housing? The smart thing to do would be to keep it as a "gentlemen's club" and student housing at the same time. You would have a steady supply of talent.

 

[CrimsonJazz]

Talk about a clam-ity! And who called the clam-bulance? He really should clam down with this stuff.

Okay, I'll stop now.

 

[DzynKingRTR]

Cheetah Lounge in Midtown Atlanta to be replaced by high-rise for student housing, developer says

So they are tearing down the Cheetah for student housing? The smart thing to do would be to keep it as a "gentlemen's club" and student housing at the same time. You would have a steady supply of talent.

Fun fact: My 4th year of architecture school, that whole block was our project site. Your 4th year, you learn master planning, so you get a whole block to design. Lots of "research " was done by my fellow students.