Dear United States, YOUR Police System and those who are not Black in America,
I came home today once again to tell my 13 year old black son about yet another death by the hands of the cops – another death of another black person. I could barely get the words out without crying but this couldn’t be sugar coated from him like I normally sweeten other information I feed him. So, let me tell you what a black single mother had to tell her son today or pretty much every time the need strikes, which is often. I had to tell my 13 year old young black son how to not get killed in these streets by those sent out to protect us.
The first thing is the reminder that although he has white friends, he needs to remember that: “You are not your white friends!!! If you are with them and you all get stopped by the cops for any reason know that you are not them, you cannot say what they say or act how they act. There is a high chance the police may single you out as the trouble maker whether you had anything to do with it so be prepared. Remember to keep your hands out of your pockets; if you are holding your phone drop it and put your hands up or out in front of you where they can be visibly seen free of anything by the cops. If they ask you any questions, answer them with a calm voice, NEVER yell. Tell them your name, age, address, mother’s name and phone number. Know that you are under the age of 16 which means you are not to be questioned without a legal guardian so with that knowledge, give them your mother’s name and phone number again. If they feel the need to pat you down, assume the position I’ve taught you and let them pat you down but be quiet while doing so. Once they have met their goal of whatever the hell it was, if you are not arrested you wait until they have left the area completely then call me. If they arrest you, put your hands up in the air to signal your surrender then let them guide your hands into the cuffs and put you into the police car. You are to remain silent the entire ride to the station – don’t even be angry because there is no need for it especially if you are innocent. Once in the station you give them your mother’s name and number again and inform them that at your age you cannot be questioned without a guardian and/or legal representation. No matter what lies they fill your head with to scare you, know that none of their lies are above the law and the law is what I’ve taught you so do not fear their lies instead give them your mother’s name and phone number again and tell them that once a guardian is present you will answer any and all questions.
After I drill that process into his head we go over him not trying to be a hero when it comes to his other black friends.
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Today I showed him the murder of Alton Sterling. Why? Because I normally hide these images and things from him, I only tell him what happens because we do not watch the news or have regular TV access, we only stream but today I needed him to see what I’ve been telling him about for once so that he truly understands that the rules I lay upon him are not to scare him but to protect him from being an Alton Sterling, or a Tamir Rice; a young boy whose death haunts me every time I think about him. He knows that these things may never come his way but if they do, he is prepared....