Any former or current players post on here?
- Thread starter thesnowman8
- Start date
Glad to see we can give them some comic relief.............now & again.
_green:To all former and current players who read and/or post on TF's; Thanks for your contribution to the Bama football team.:BigA:
Tha fic-tion-ul char-ec-ture, ahh, Forrest Gump was, ahh, ahh loosely, based upon my life and my times. Yes it is true though you may be, ahh, doud-ting me right now, but here is a truth-ful story that will con-vince any-one who dares to read it . . .
I played liked a dust-devil in them days. I, ahh, ahh, would go a dar-tin and a bobbin and a weavin like a bon-o-fide banshee - so faaast that no-body could lay a hand upon my back! I was so faaast that I could chunk a ball for about 60 yards and still have time to run up under my own pass and score six after six after six! One time we were in my parents va-cant lot, ahh, choosin sides and I was laaast to get to choose and somehow it was me against all twelve of them boys and they were all mean as a treed-ra-coon! Well I guess word got all tha way to Tus-ca-loosa to tha big man about the bow-legged boy in east Ala-bama with braces who beat 12 boys 92-14 in the greatest game played in Shae-Harry Stadium (that's what my big brothers called the va-cant lot in them heady days). Anyways, before I ever played a single down for Ala-bama I had a freaky acc-e-dent that ended my futball coa-reah before it really got good and started.
In my fare-well game at Shae-Harry I had just scored my 9th six points when I had an out-of-body ex-per-i-ence and was told by my guardian angel that it was just not meant to be...
I liked choc-o-lates a lot, ahh better then, before I had that, ahh, really bad re-action to the choc-o-lates and too much running in that hot July sun. The doc-tors called it ahh, "Choc-o-late HU-MI-DITY Poisoning". I re-mem-ber my grinnin face sud-denly becomin clamey and such and my stomach making a fitful racket just before I fainted and let loose of ev-ery-thing in my stomach - three large boxes of Whit-man's Best, two Yahoos, a Daniel's scrambled burger all-the-way, washed down with a jumbo Double Cola, a box of Raisonettes, a orange wax candy har-mon-ica, a small bag of Golden Flake Po-ta-to chiips, 5 or 6 of my Grandma's homemade prunes, and a whole box of Black Crows (I still like that black lic-o-rice though!)... Only when I come to I didn't rightly like choc-o-lates near as much as be-fore! But I clearly re-mem-ber looking down from like 10 feet in the are, down upon a most dreadful sight that was my sweaty, ashen colored body a-heaped upon tha cool green cen-ti-pede grass that graced that va-cant lot. I saw ev-ery-one one of those boys laughing at me with their skinny arms a-flailin about in the wind or on their boney hips! I cried out, only they could not hear me, to "Hep me a-Jebus!", 'cause what I saw that day scared me a-mighty bad! I was floating right there above my body when Jebus sent my guardian angel to check up on the bow-legged boy that Coach wanted real, real bad in Tus-ca-loosa. What I saw even scart my angel! All upon me was a green slimy mess, on my shirt and my new PF Kids and my new coy-doy-roy pants too! I think I may have sharted a little bit too because the smell was way more pro-nounced than just puke a-lone. My angel pro-ceeded to push me back into my body and I woke up all smelly and weakened from my or-deal. By that time my grandma was yellin' at those kids to beat it and pro-ceeded to help me up to my feet. My Grandma even puked a little bit in her mouth cause I saw her cheeks go all Dizzy Go-Lespy-like, but she caught it and made her gaggin' stop, all proper-like. While she was helping me get a-righted on my feet again I re-mem-ber her saying "Oooh you are cah-yarny!" Anyway that is the laaast time I played futball or ate Whit-man's Finest; but I just wanted to tell anybody who cared, that I am the boy that Gump was based-upon, that Forrest Gump really did ALMOST play ball over there. Well that is my story and I hope you bo-lieved it, if only for a minute or three. And if you do not, then just ask yore-self this riddle - WWFD?
I played liked a dust-devil in them days. I, ahh, ahh, would go a dar-tin and a bobbin and a weavin like a bon-o-fide banshee - so faaast that no-body could lay a hand upon my back! I was so faaast that I could chunk a ball for about 60 yards and still have time to run up under my own pass and score six after six after six! One time we were in my parents va-cant lot, ahh, choosin sides and I was laaast to get to choose and somehow it was me against all twelve of them boys and they were all mean as a treed-ra-coon! Well I guess word got all tha way to Tus-ca-loosa to tha big man about the bow-legged boy in east Ala-bama with braces who beat 12 boys 92-14 in the greatest game played in Shae-Harry Stadium (that's what my big brothers called the va-cant lot in them heady days). Anyways, before I ever played a single down for Ala-bama I had a freaky acc-e-dent that ended my futball coa-reah before it really got good and started.
In my fare-well game at Shae-Harry I had just scored my 9th six points when I had an out-of-body ex-per-i-ence and was told by my guardian angel that it was just not meant to be...
I liked choc-o-lates a lot, ahh better then, before I had that, ahh, really bad re-action to the choc-o-lates and too much running in that hot July sun. The doc-tors called it ahh, "Choc-o-late HU-MI-DITY Poisoning". I re-mem-ber my grinnin face sud-denly becomin clamey and such and my stomach making a fitful racket just before I fainted and let loose of ev-ery-thing in my stomach - three large boxes of Whit-man's Best, two Yahoos, a Daniel's scrambled burger all-the-way, washed down with a jumbo Double Cola, a box of Raisonettes, a orange wax candy har-mon-ica, a small bag of Golden Flake Po-ta-to chiips, 5 or 6 of my Grandma's homemade prunes, and a whole box of Black Crows (I still like that black lic-o-rice though!)... Only when I come to I didn't rightly like choc-o-lates near as much as be-fore! But I clearly re-mem-ber looking down from like 10 feet in the are, down upon a most dreadful sight that was my sweaty, ashen colored body a-heaped upon tha cool green cen-ti-pede grass that graced that va-cant lot. I saw ev-ery-one one of those boys laughing at me with their skinny arms a-flailin about in the wind or on their boney hips! I cried out, only they could not hear me, to "Hep me a-Jebus!", 'cause what I saw that day scared me a-mighty bad! I was floating right there above my body when Jebus sent my guardian angel to check up on the bow-legged boy that Coach wanted real, real bad in Tus-ca-loosa. What I saw even scart my angel! All upon me was a green slimy mess, on my shirt and my new PF Kids and my new coy-doy-roy pants too! I think I may have sharted a little bit too because the smell was way more pro-nounced than just puke a-lone. My angel pro-ceeded to push me back into my body and I woke up all smelly and weakened from my or-deal. By that time my grandma was yellin' at those kids to beat it and pro-ceeded to help me up to my feet. My Grandma even puked a little bit in her mouth cause I saw her cheeks go all Dizzy Go-Lespy-like, but she caught it and made her gaggin' stop, all proper-like. While she was helping me get a-righted on my feet again I re-mem-ber her saying "Oooh you are cah-yarny!" Anyway that is the laaast time I played futball or ate Whit-man's Finest; but I just wanted to tell anybody who cared, that I am the boy that Gump was based-upon, that Forrest Gump really did ALMOST play ball over there. Well that is my story and I hope you bo-lieved it, if only for a minute or three. And if you do not, then just ask yore-self this riddle - WWFD?
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WWFD? I don't think Forest would be up at 2:00 AM writing a bizzare post on Tidefans. Man, those must have been some powerful mushrooms you ate.
I'm fix-in to call Papa Johns this morning to find out where those mushrooms o-ri-gi-na-ted from & heading to that pasture myself! I will of course not wear my crim-son a-colored jersey as if it is the same ole pasture I that know there is a mighty mean aBull that will give you a fit-ful car-dio workout! My a-way jersey will do just fine but I will dawn my old PF-Flyers with the mo-dified 1 inch steel cleats embedded into the shoe-goo bo-tom that I made myself. They are not bult for com-fort but there is no angle that these feet cannot make when I have 1200 pounds of anger a-chasin my bu-tox. . .
Heybamastan.... just noticed you are in Iraq; first THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!! I for one; appreciate ALL your efforts! And two... be SAFE and of course RTR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm fix-in to call Papa Johns this morning to find out where those mushrooms o-ri-gi-na-ted from & heading to that pasture myself! I will of course not wear my crim-son a-colored jersey as if it is the same ole pasture I that know there is a mighty mean aBull that will give you a fit-ful car-dio workout! My a-way jersey will do just fine but I will dawn my old PF-Flyers with the mo-dified 1 inch steel cleats embedded into the shoe-goo bo-tom that I made myself. They are not bult for com-fort but there is no angle that these feet cannot make when I have 1200 pounds of anger a-chasin my bu-tox. . .
(Palm Bay, fl)
Me and some buddies once got caught in a field by a shotgun wielding farmer at 5:00 am in Shelby county. shelby county actually had farms back then! We explained that we were from the University of Alabama doing a Pharmacological and toxicology study on the medicinal effects of fungi...... He gave us a 5 minute had start!! man its great to be older and wiser! Whomever said youth was wasted on the young wasn't lying!!!! Roll Tide
Walk-on for 1 season. No playing time, no travel squad.
When Mike Shula looked at me in the huddle during some 7 - 7 drills and said "I don't like receivers who are slower than me", I knew that was not a good sign. Fortunately I can blame the end of my "career" on knee surgery, as opposed to a dearth of real talent that was tangible on the playing field. When my knee rehab was over, my 40 time was actually a bit faster, which prompted a buddy of mine to suggest surgery on the other knee, to see if it would help too. I didn't laugh...then.
When Mike Shula looked at me in the huddle during some 7 - 7 drills and said "I don't like receivers who are slower than me", I knew that was not a good sign. Fortunately I can blame the end of my "career" on knee surgery, as opposed to a dearth of real talent that was tangible on the playing field. When my knee rehab was over, my 40 time was actually a bit faster, which prompted a buddy of mine to suggest surgery on the other knee, to see if it would help too. I didn't laugh...then.
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