Bizarre Headlines in News III

[DzynKingRTR]

https://www.cnn.com/2025/02/05/us/pennsylvania-egg-theft-hnk/index.html

 

[mdb-tpet]

"Hey dude, wanna buy a couple thousand eggs? Ha ha, like you know you want a few thousand right? Dude?"

 

[Bazza]

 

[CrimsonJazz]

Good! We need more dumb people doing this.

 

[Huckleberry]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1889345321181815143

Thousands of Danish citizens are launching an effort to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

 

[CrimsonJazz]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1889345321181815143

Thousands of Danish citizens are launching an effort to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

Sounds like a fair trade to me; let’s do this!

 

[DzynKingRTR]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1889345321181815143

Thousands of Danish citizens are launching an effort to buy California as a response to Trump’s attempt to take Greenland. They say they will provide Californians with “rule of law, universal health care, fact-based politics, and a lifetime supply of Danish pastries.”

had me at Danish pastries. I might move

 

[TIDE-HSV]

had me at Danish pastries. I might move

Have you had real Danish pastries in Denmark? If so, it's hard to understand what you have against them. Usually, I'm coming to Denmark from Germany, where they just don't believe in much sugar in their pastries. I always felt like I'd reached the promised land of pastries when I reached Denmark...

 

[crimsonaudio]

Have you had real Danish pastries in Denmark? If so, it's hard to understand what you have against them. Usually, I'm coming to Denmark from Germany, where they just don't believe in much sugar in their pastries. I always felt like I'd reached the promised land of pastries when I reached Denmark...

I think he meant he might move to CA.

 

[DzynKingRTR]

Have you had real Danish pastries in Denmark? If so, it's hard to understand what you have against them. Usually, I'm coming to Denmark from Germany, where they just don't believe in much sugar in their pastries. I always felt like I'd reached the promised land of pastries when I reached Denmark...

you read that incorrectly. I like Danishes. Never had the pleasure of a real one.

Just regular bread in other countries is better than here. We Americans put sugar in everything.

 

[Bamaro]

Penis plumping is on the rise: Filler shots are ‘all the rage now’
It’s the secret weapon in a different battle of the bulge: dissolvable penis injectables.

“I feel like I’m holding a baseball bat,” Carlos M., 25, said while describing his post-filler phallus to The Post.

The Bronx native — who asked that his full name not be revealed for privacy reasons — tacked on a whopping 1½ inches to his tallywacker by going to Lushful Aesthetics, a New York City-based cosmetic medicine company that, among other procedures, helps widen people’s willies.

Carlos is one of many men who are sexpanding their horizons with injections of hyaluronic-acid-based penis fillers, which are nonsurgical, last for more than a year and are reversible, unlike more invasive implant techniques.


“My mid-shaft was in the 6- or 6½-inch range,” Ray Dexter, a Lushful Aesthetics client and gay porn star whose privates have spearheaded more than 4 million Google searches, told The Post.

After receiving multiple filler treatments over several years, he claimed, his penis grew to “about 7½ inches” … around.
Penis-plumping fillers on the rise: 'All the rage right now'

 

[CrimsonJazz]

This is an outrage! This is decadent! This is just so wrong! Where are they again?

 

[crimsonaudio]

Condemned South Carolina killer chooses to be executed by firing squad

Condemned South Carolina inmate Brad Sigmon has chosen to die by a firing squad.

www.actionnews5.com

ETA - the irony is astonishing:
Sigmon didn’t pick the electric chair because it would “burn and cook him alive,” his attorney Gerald “Bo” King wrote in a statement.

“But the alternative is just as monstrous,” King said. “If he chose lethal injection, he risked the prolonged death suffered by all three of the men South Carolina has executed since September — three men Brad knew and cared for — who remained alive, strapped to a gurney, for more than twenty minutes.”

Sigmon knows it will be a violent death, his lawyer said.

“He does not wish to inflict that pain on his family, the witnesses, or the execution team. But, given South Carolina’s unnecessary and unconscionable secrecy, Brad is choosing as best he can,” King said.

Sigmon was convicted in the 2001 baseball bat killings of his ex-girlfriend’s parents at their home in Greenville County. They were in separate rooms, and Sigmon went back and forth as he beat them to death, investigators said. He then kidnapped his ex-girlfriend at gunpoint, but she escaped from his car. He shot at her as she ran but missed, according to prosecutors.

 

[Bodhisattva]

Condemned South Carolina killer chooses to be executed by firing squad

Condemned South Carolina inmate Brad Sigmon has chosen to die by a firing squad.

www.actionnews5.com

ETA - the irony is astonishing:
Sigmon didn’t pick the electric chair because it would “burn and cook him alive,” his attorney Gerald “Bo” King wrote in a statement.

“But the alternative is just as monstrous,” King said. “If he chose lethal injection, he risked the prolonged death suffered by all three of the men South Carolina has executed since September — three men Brad knew and cared for — who remained alive, strapped to a gurney, for more than twenty minutes.”

Sigmon knows it will be a violent death, his lawyer said.

“He does not wish to inflict that pain on his family, the witnesses, or the execution team. But, given South Carolina’s unnecessary and unconscionable secrecy, Brad is choosing as best he can,” King said.

Sigmon was convicted in the 2001 baseball bat killings of his ex-girlfriend’s parents at their home in Greenville County. They were in separate rooms, and Sigmon went back and forth as he beat them to death, investigators said. He then kidnapped his ex-girlfriend at gunpoint, but she escaped from his car. He shot at her as she ran but missed, according to prosecutors.

A violent murderer is concerned about his method of execution, you say? Hold on. I've misplaced my care-o-meter.

 

[CrimsonJazz]

CT man accused of cannibalism and murder is granted conditional release

A man accused of cannibalism and murder has been granted conditional release, according to the Connecticut Psychiatric Security Review Board (PSRB). The board granted Tyree Smith’s release after a careful review of his clinical progress, officials said. He’s currently at Connecticut Valley...

www.nbcboston.com

Uh……wut?

 

[Bamaro]

Not a headline but still very bizarre. I saw it on "The Unexplained by Dan Akroid on History channel:
Dr Varnoff and his monkey testical sceme

The search for a Fountain of Youth has driven humankind down some strange avenues of inquiry. But there may be none stranger than the work of Dr. Serge Voronoff. Known in his time as “the monkey gland expert,” Voronoff believed that human aging could be halted or even reversed by transplanting monkey testicles into people.
Dr. Voronoff’s first monkey-testicle-to-man-testicle xenograft occurred in July of 1920. He is said to have taken a small scrap of young monkey testicle just a few centimeters wide and a few millimeters thin, and sewn it right into the patient’s scrotum. Voronoff contested that the procedure could do everything from return youthful energy to curing senility and schizophrenia to radically prolonging life.
By 1923, Voronoff was the director of the experimental laboratory at the Collège de France, and his testicular grafts had gained such popularity and acclaim that a special reserve was being set-up in Africa specifically to capture and maintain monkeys for gland transfer.
The demand for Voronoff’s procedure continued to increase, as did his ambition. Following in the mold of any classic mad scientist, Voronoff bought himself a castle in Grimaldi, Italy in 1925.
In a 1927 article printed in the Delaware Star, Voronoff claimed that his procedure had been performed over 1,000 times throughout the world, restoring septuagenarians to the strength of their youth. Even more startlingly, Voronoff said that he had begun administering the rejuvenating testicle grafts to young sheep, essentially creating a race of super-sheep. Voronoff claimed the resulting animals showed increased size and strength. He notes that while such a radical procedure had not been attempted on a human, it would likely result in a giant ubermensch with increased size, strength, and lifespan. He even hints at immortality, stating that in theory, a human could live for as long as he could keep his gland healthy.
Voronoff quit performing the procedures around 1930, but continued to proselytize the benefits of his xenografts, while performing research on curing human ailments, Between 1920 and 1940, some 2000 monkey-man testicle rejuvenations were administered
The True Story of Dr. Voronoff's Plan to Use Monkey Testicles to Make Us Immortal - Atlas Obscura

 

[CrimsonJazz]

 

[crimsonaudio]

Missing man misidentified, buried in veterans cemetery

 

[CrimsonJazz]

 

[Bamaro]

Canadian man eats 25 Carolina reaper peppers in under 5 minutes
March 6 (UPI) -- An iron-stomached speed eater broke a Guinness World Record by eating 25 Carolina reaper chili peppers in 4 minutes and 36.26 seconds.

Carolina reapers have a Scoville Heat Units measurement of about 1,641,183, compared to about 4,000-8,500 for the average jalapeno pepper. Reapers were considered the hottest chili peppers in the world until the debut of "Pepper X" last year.

"I might make it look a little easier than it is but I'm burning up here, I really feel it," Jack told Guinness World Records. "The peppers, they really hurt a lot."
Watch: Canadian man eats 25 Carolina reaper peppers in under 5 minutes - UPI.com