Great & Funny Football Coach Sayings ...

J.E.B. Stuart

Suspended
Aug 11, 2000
841
0
35
Got this via email today. Some really great and very funny sayings.

Football Coaches' Quotes.....

"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't have
any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.

"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat
Texas." Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

"After you retire, there's only one big event left .... and I ain't ready
for that." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the
one who dropped it." Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"When you win, nothing hurts." Joe Namath / Alabama

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated." Lou Holtz / Arkansas

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval
study hall." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

“There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out
of you.” Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." Bob Devaney / Nebraska

"In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant." Wally Butts / Georgia

"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in
life." Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class." Bear Bryant / Alabama

When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world. "No, but you can see
it from here." Lu Holtz / Arkansas

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want
him to quit in practice, not in a game." Bear Bryant / Alabama


"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring -give us the ball near the
goal line." Matty Bell / SMU

"Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players:Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor." Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

"Always remember ..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."
Shug Jordan / Auburn

"They cut us up like boarding house pie... and that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal / Texas

"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure.” Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't
recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't
any good." Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State (PS: Garrison played many years for the Dallas Cowboys of the NFL)

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering
wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is not a contact sport - it is a collision sport. Dancing is a
contact sport." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team:
"All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC

"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a
back, you only have to be dumb." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Oh,we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

“It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it.” Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches." Darrell Royal / Texas

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking." John McKay / USC

"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad.
Darrell Royal / University of Texas

"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

“Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this
football” John Heisman
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BAMA1979

All-American
Nov 15, 2006
4,269
0
0
Mobile
John McKay during his years at Tampa Bay...

Reporter: "What do you think about the execution of your team?"

John McKay: "I'm in favor of it."

Woody Hayes:

When asked why he went for two despite a 36-point lead against Michigan, Hayes said, "Because the rules wouldn't let me go for three."
 
Last edited:

IH8Orange

Hall of Fame
Aug 14, 2000
7,017
31
0
Trussville, AL, USA
When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world. "No, but you can see
it from here." Lu Holtz / Arkansas

"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring -give us the ball near the
goal line." Matty Bell / SMU

"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa

"They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't
recruit me and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't
any good." Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State (PS: Garrison played many years for the Dallas Cowboys of the NFL)

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post-game message to his team:
"All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC

"Oh,we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking." John McKay / USC
Those are some good ones. :biggrin:
 

CrimsonSEC

Hall of Fame
Jan 8, 2007
7,822
78
67
Brewton
Vince Lombardi summed it up best when asked how it felt to be the greatest team in the world after winning the championship in 1966. Lombardi said, “I don’t know, we haven’t played Alabama yet.”
Unverified ....but I still like the sound of it.:D
 

JDCrimson

Hall of Fame
Feb 12, 2006
6,459
6,464
187
52
I cant remember any of them specifically but this would be a good place to post some Jim Mora quotes.

Playoffs!?
 

TommyMac

Hall of Fame
Apr 24, 2001
14,039
33
0
84
Mobile, Alabama
Darrell Royal - "Punt returns will kill you quicker'n a minnow can swim a dipper."

Coach Stallings when a place kicker told him that he made him nervous watching him during practice - "Well son, I plan on being at all the games."
 
Last edited:

Relayer

Hall of Fame
Mar 25, 2001
7,095
1,294
287
From the great book, The Last Coach:

Bryant agreed to a debate with a professor at Texas A & M on the subject "Is College Football Overemphasized?" Bryant's best line was when he asked: "Sir, how many people watch you give a final exam?" When the professor said about fifty, Bryant replied "Well, I have 50,000 watch me when I give mine every Saturday."

If, by some remote chance, you have not read this book, I highly recommended it!
 

Latest threads