Men Rules

[BamaHoHo]

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.


1. I f you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball ormotor sports.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.​

 

[seebell]

I don't see good things ahead for you HoHo. Are you married? Have a girlfriend?

One sentence you need to learn... "Yes Dear":tongue:

 

[CajunCrimson]

I just pee with the seat down. Helps to practice my hand eye coordination

 

[seebell]

I just pee with the seat down. Helps to practice my hand eye coordination

You raise the top or leave it down?:biggrin:

 

[Bazza]

 

[DzynKingRTR]

When you ask "what are you thinking about? and we say "Nothing" We are actually thinking about nothing. We can do that.

 

[AUDub]

 

[CajunCrimson]

When you ask "what are you thinking about? and we say "Nothing" We are actually thinking about nothing. We can do that.

The correct answer is always, "I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you"....

 

[Tidewater]

This one is so true.

Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:
Motorcycle won’t start…can't figure out why.

 

[BamaFlum]

This one is so true.

Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.' When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:
Motorcycle won’t start…can't figure out why.

You have no idea! That is me to a T. Maybe not motorcycles but other situations or problems that need "fixin," I'll think and ponder about them for hours!


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[Tide1986]

Every guy who is planning to get married or who hasn't been married long enough to know better should watch this video and take plenty of notes:

 

[Tidewater]

Every guy who is planning to get married or who hasn't been married long enough to know better should watch this video and take plenty of notes:

I've played this game:
"Don't try to fix it."
"Well, then why are we talking about it?"

That does not usually go over too well.

 

[BamaHoHo]

 

[CharminTide]

Wow. Ya'll have my condolences.

 

[Crimson1967]

Wow. Ya'll have my condolences.

I think the Gay Society needs to promote the thing about the seat being up or down in their recruitment videos. It would do wonders for their numbers if more people just knew how turning gay would end that argument in relationships.

 

[CharminTide]

I think the Gay Society needs to promote the thing about the seat being up or down in their recruitment videos.

Yeah, we really should update Will & Grace.

 

[Bodhisattva]

Wow. Ya'll have my condolences.

Sounds like more than a few dudes on here are a little disgruntled with their current team. There may be a recruiting opportunity here. Just sayin'.

 

[Bamaro]

Wow. Ya'll have my condolences.

Yeah, but there is a reason that we put up with it.

 

[rolltide_21]

Sounds like more than a few dudes on here are a little disgruntled with their current team. There may be a recruiting opportunity here. Just sayin'.

Honey on the biscuits [emoji6]


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[4Q Basket Case]

I'm guessing the OP is dealing with one of four things:
-- building a house
-- a wedding...could be theirs, could be a daughter's. Feminine stress is much lower on the mother of the groom than the mother of the bride.
-- she's pregnant and hormones are in control. Or she wants to be, and externally-introduced hormones are in control.
-- her favorite parent (usually her daddy) is in poor health.

If none of those four are in play, there's a much bigger issue, and I'm not man enough to go there.