Public, Private, or Home School?

[GreatDanish]

We have a few years left to decide where to send our youngsters, but I have seemed to be in more discussions recently with people who feel very passionately about each of these options. Here are some common thoughts I hear expressed.

Pros
Public Schools: To have more "real world" experience. The kids see the reality of some kids who grow up poor, and of course, the schools are less costly to attend.
Private Schools: They have higher demands in behavior and academics. The kids in the schools likely come from families who care about academics, college preparation, and the overall well-being of their children. Athletics are often very competitive.
Home Schools: Curriculum can be made to reinforce beliefs that may not be taught at public or private schools, yet are not as costly as private schools. Curriculum can be at the pace of the child, instead of moving at a rate that may cause many children to be either left behind, or kept back.

Cons
Public Schools: Poor oversight, kids get in more trouble, and academic standards are either very poor, or are more bureaucratic than practical.
Private Schools: Many are very costly, and wrought with nepotism. Many are also seen as "White" schools with very little interaction with people with any kinds of differences (many are denominational meaning kids only interact, not only with Christians, but with that one single denomination, et al).
Home Schools: Children do not get the socialization that students at public and private schools normally get. Some experiences are difficult to have that most children have - P.E. class, high school athletics, prom, spirit days, and things of the like.

My personal opinion is that all of these options stink, and yet none of them will mean the demise of my children. I have taught in both public and private schools, and I will say while almost all of my students at the public school came from either one parent homes, or no biological parent homes, many of the parents at the private school depended on the teachers to do the parenting.
In my opinion, it all comes down to parenting, and making the decision that you as parents and the child feel most comfortable with. Different settings might be better for different kids. If one kid is not really a leader, and is more of a follower, sending him to an inner city school might not be the best option, but a private school is not necessarily the answer by itself either.
I had a student at the public school that got an academic scholarship to Stanford, and played volleyball there. I had one student at the private school that I know of who is in prison. Granted, one of my public school kids was on the TBI's (Tennessee Bureau of Investigation) most wanted list for shooting another one of my students (not sure if he still is on the list or not).
I will say that I have known many home schooled children, and none of them have ever gotten into big trouble that I am aware of. But, I do not want to confuse a kid "not getting into trouble" with complete parental success. Many have difficulty socially, and tend to focus on theoretical and academic fields (as opposed to career fields such as real estate, engineering, and architecture).

So, what are your thoughts? What do you plan to do with your kids, or what did you do with your kids? What were your experiences as a kid, and what are your thoughts on those experiences?

 

[NYBamaFan]

I believe in public schools. Assuming safety is not an issue, with involved parents, any school will suffice - without involved parents, no school will suffice. The parents are the critical part, not the school.

There are a few exceptions - like boarding schools - but they are very expensive. The boarding school in my town is now up to $42k/year. For high school. Yeah...

 

[Jon]

I went to Public Schools in three different states and moved every three years until I went to Alabama for college. In every case my parents sought out the "best" public schools they could find and were mid level active in my education. Other than a few exceptions where I had a fantastic teacher or two my Public school experience was an absolute joke. I skated all the way through with little or no real effort on my part.

my wife went to Catholic Schools, k-12. And her education was actually worse than mine. No history other than catholic slanted/biblical and nothing of other religions or cultures, horrible math and science, but OK in everything else.

neither of us received would I would call a "good" education

For our kids we are homeschooling.

We never even considered public schools as where we are in the Atlanta Metro the schools are so ridiculously over crowded and the kids tend to be taught to the level of the dumbest kid in the room. Couldn't stand to see my kids doing what I did, sitting in the back of the room bored and goofing off while waiting for the other kids to catch up.

The private schools here don't really work either. First as most of you who know me here know, the religious ones need to be rejected immediately. The non religious private schools here are super expensive and really seem to be snob factories. Factored in with the fact that I hung out with kids from those schools in high school and that they were more often then not as parentally neglected as inner city youth, but with better drugs and the choice was clear for us.

I am fortunate that my wife has an education degree and wants to do it so that most definitely helps. Homeschooling is far from easy, in fact I believe that it is a much larger commitment than most understand.

To address your Cons on Homeschooling, socialization is the most over rated "pro" of any school situation. In our case because we live in a big city there are dozens of home school groups around here, from secular to non and my kids have play groups (after school work is completed) almost every day. As a massive Pro, we as parents get to choose who they socialize with. My kids have never seen High School musical, Hannah Montana or any of the other "don't you want to be a cool, slutty, suggestively dressed teenager?" type TV shows. And by selecting the parents and kids they hang out with we can assure that they are not peer pressured into wanting to.

Pro's for homeschooling are too numerous to mention

J

 

[TRUTIDE]

I did some research on public/private schools in the area I was going to live. We had several choices from a bigger established city to outlying smaller, newer cities. We bought a house in a city that was growing with new schools being built. We looked at the principal at the elementary school and consider him one of the best in the area. A new middle school was being built as my oldest child grew into that age group and a new highschool followed. My wife works with troubled youth and had a point of view from that perspective as well. We have some really good private schools in the area and my boys had some athletic opportunnities there but we did not want to go that route. Me and my siblings grew up in and out of private schools. Sure, they may go for more expensive drugs and commit crimes with a higher class of people but the discipline problems are not really that different except in comparison with the worst of the public schools. My wife would agree with her professional experiences. Academic opportunnities may be better at the private school (as far as college is concerned) but we will wait and see. I am really happy with the athletic situation we have in our public school system and the religious aspects of our schools are surprisingly refreshing.

I am not saying all public schools will be on par with private schools. I grew up in a bigger city where we had all sorts of problems with some pretty awful public schools and they are alot worse off now in present day. We just researched the best option for our children and got lucky I guess.

I am not big on homeschooling because I do not think it allows the child to mature at the same level as other children. I do not know if this is good or bad in today's society but I woud guess the latter. I have seen where homeschooled kids are able to participate in sports and other extra curricular activities and seem to do good. I guess alot would have to do with how the parents are raising them though.

Edit: Jon, you do seem to have a good handle on your homeschooling experience. I would think this is what is need to make it work. I have seen extremes in the other direction though and agree that it would depend on parent commitment to providing the best situation.

 

[rizolltizide]

I believe in public schools. Assuming safety is not an issue, with involved parents, any school will suffice - without involved parents, no school will suffice. The parents are the critical part, not the school.

There are a few exceptions - like boarding schools - but they are very expensive. The boarding school in my town is now up to $42k/year. For high school. Yeah...

My thoughts exactly. And 42 g's a year? No way is there value in that proposition.

 

[uafan4life]

Unfortunately there's no good answer here. There are way too many variables. Everything changes depending on both the child and the school.

As for public schools, the biggest issue I have is with the curriculum. The curriculum and schedule are targeted toward the "average" student. You can find some public schools such as satellite schools, magnet schools, Montessori schools, etc. that are more adaptive in their curriculum and teaching. None are as adaptive as home-schooling can be, however.

There is a movement, though, for school systems to help integrate home-schoolers into the social and athletic functions of the school system. Take Tebow, for example, who was home-schooled but was able to participate in various extra-curricular activities, including football. This is becoming more and more common, and gives you a little bit of the best of both worlds.

Another "mixture" option, which is difficult to find, is a school system that will allow partial enrollment. That way a student can take certain core classes with students at a public or private school but get more advanced elective teaching through home-school or self-study, more like a college type atmosphere.

There are also a growing number of home-school groups that allow home-schoolers to interact with other home-schoolers, participate in extra-curricular activities and such without having to deal with the local school system. You don't get as large of a contact group as a public or private school but there is some interaction.

You have to just try to make the best decision for your child, based on the child's development and the school choices. You also have to weigh which issues are more important.

If your child is of above-average intelligence and would be fitted to pursue a "theoretical" or "academic" field, then the benefit of the academic advantages of home-schooling or a small magnet or private school would outweigh the lack of social interaction.

If your child would likely be pursuing a career field, then the advantages and experiences of the social interaction of a larger private or public school may be greater than the academic advantages of home-schooling or a small private or magnet school.

I had a choice between being home-schooled and going to public school. I wanted to play football, and that desire outweighed the benefits as I saw (or didn't see) from being home-schooled. On the one hand, I enjoyed my time in school and made friends that I would not have had I been home-schooled. However, I often joke that the only thing school really taught me was how to be lazy. I was fortunate (or unfortunate) to have a level of intelligence that let me slide through school and most of college despite my abhorrent work ethic. When it came time to get and hold down a job, I found that my IQ was much less important in the real world than it was in school. Or rather that a good work ethic was far more important than it was in school, one or the other.

I've often thought that, for me, being able to be home-schooled while being allowed to participate in extra-curricular activities as well would have been the perfect blend.

I think that many others are having the same thoughts, as well, considering the growing support on involving home-schoolers with the local school systems. Many school systems fight this idea, whether for monetary or other reasons, but it is becoming more and more common.

In the end, though, it might be hard but you really have to treat each child and each school choice different.

 

[NYBamaFan]

...As for public schools, the biggest issue I have is with the curriculum. The curriculum and schedule are targeted toward the "average" student. You can find some public schools such as satellite schools, magnet schools, Montessori schools, etc. that are more adaptive in their curriculum and teaching. None are as adaptive as home-schooling can be, however...

Not sure about home schooling as my wife was not interested. Maybe we have been lucky. Our children have been in 3 different school districts. One of my boys is exceptionally bright, while the other struggles with almost everything. All 3 public schools that they have attended have met the needs of both of my boys.

My younger son has received a great deal of extra help, while my older son has had program after program made available to him to continue to challenge him. We work with both for a few hours every night (more than a few with my younger son). We make sure that they apply themselves - that they always do their best.

 

[bayoutider]

I am a product of public schools. My father traveled a lot and I attended 23 different schools in my time.

My kids attended private school till they reached middle school then attended public school. I think they were a little ahead of the kids who only went to public school but by the time they graduated they were probably dumbed down to their equal. Both managed to navagate through college though.

My wife is a product of boarding schools. She was a professional student into her 30s she is book smart but it took a lot of work for her to have some common sense. Don't anyone tell her I said that. When I married her she couldn't do laundry, clean house and all she could cook was rice, oatmeal, canned soup and oven baked chicken breast.

 

[RamJamHam]

Bayou, in my town it was just the opposite. As long as you were in the advanced classes, we poor unwashed public school students were a pretty good piece ahead of the private school kids when we graduated.

 

[Bama4Ever831]

Bayou, in my town it was just the opposite. As long as you were in the advanced classes, we poor unwashed public school students were a pretty good piece ahead of the private school kids when we graduated.

I agree with you. I am a product of public school myself and if you were in advanced classes you were definitely ahead of the private school kids. This is in my experience with public schools in North Atlanta.
Many schools offer gifted programs that allow independent study even beyond the advanced classes. By the time you get to high school and are taking AP or IB classes it is all the same curriculum if you are taking it at a public school or a private school. I did fine on all my APs. I got tons of college credit.

EDIT: I wanted to add that parental involvement is everything at least in my experience.

 

[rhYno]

Trust me when I say private schools are just as bad as public schools. The only difference is there are less students. That's about it.

 

[Tide1986]

I too am a product of public schools (all the way through college). Interestingly, I was a latch key kid so my parents were basically not involved. As long as I made good grades, they left me alone (not even helping me with subject matter). The end result was a double major (Mathematics and History), some latin words added to my diploma, and a thus-far successful business career. I agree with what others have said: a good education is available whether in public, private or home school. My four kids attend public school. In the end, my wife and I chose public over home school because we wanted our kids to have a portion of their lives apart from us. We are big on them developing from both an independence and an academic perspective; but admittedly, we did chose the public school system carefully (yes, we are still there quietly overseeing, directing, and shaping), and we are involved with what they are learning. As someone said, there are a lot of variables. Parents can do everything right, but the child still fails; and conversely, parents can do everything wrong, yet the child succeeds.
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[crimson fan man]

I was a public school kid. My wife was a public school person also. My oldest son went thru public school for twelve years. He called us and and said that we sent to a crappy school. This was during his freshman year at Alabama. My youngest son went to public school until the fourth grade until we sent him to private school starting his fifth grade.
He was so far behind that he had to struggle just to keep up. Public school he was a straight A student. The private school He made the first C's in his life.
When he went into High school he had an english teacher that made all his class write many papers. When this started his papers were not much but as time past it was impressive what he was able to write. As for his act and the sat I do believe the private school is the best option.
That is my view of this subject.

 

[It's On A Slab]

We always preferred the public option. The wife and I grew up in either sub-standard public schools, or unable (due to district change) to attend quality public schools. I always said that I'd move to where the schools were good if my kids were ever faced with attending crappy public schools.

Here in Slabville, the public schools beat the private and parochial schools in quality. There is really no need to pay the extra money for those schools....though, prop. tax levies make it feel like I've already paid for private school tuition.

Home school is a good option, but only if you and your spouse buy into it 100%. I have seen great success stories with home-schooling, and I've seen cases that bordered on child neglect. We considered home-schooling when we lived in Dothan, AL. My 2nd-grader at the time was basically attending a day care center at school, bored out of her mind. We chose to move instead, and never looked back.

I don't get the whole "child socialization" knock on home schooling. Done right, I've seen kids that interact well with adults, have lucid/clear minds, and don't pick up many of the bad habits they would get around their peers. And many current home school assocs. provide some of that interaction through group projects, their own sports assocs., etc.

You will see a lot of elitism and snobbery with private schools, but you also see the same things in public schools. There will always be the kids from more wealthy parents, who drive better cars (or even have cars), dress in designer clothes, etc. We lived on the edge of the more snobby high school district, but were glad that our kids went to the more "middle class" school (my kids called it the "ghetto school" because most kids didn't drive Beamers and Lexus vehicles, and it was the oldest school in the district.).

 

[Relayer]

Every now and then I actually agree with you on something. 100% in this case. Scary.

 

[NYBamaFan]

...I don't get the whole "child socialization" knock on home schooling. Done right, I've seen kids that interact well with adults, have lucid/clear minds, and don't pick up many of the bad habits they would get around their peers. And many current home school assocs. provide some of that interaction through group projects, their own sports assocs., etc...

While I agree with this to a point, the really limiting factor is the fact that these children socialize with other children who are being raised in the same way, by parents with very, very similar beliefs (religious, political, etc.). That is very limiting.

I work with a few men who were home schooled. They struggle more than any others (that I have encountered) with tolerance and acceptance of different values. IMO, they struggle with this far more than those who went to religious schools (probably because most of the students attending religious schools are not members of the religion sponsoring the school).

So, they may get to meet and play with many other home schooled children on a day-to-day basis, but they do not experience the cultural diversity that either private of public schools offer.

My current school district is 98% white. We live in a very conservative, politically active area. I have to constantly remind my boys that there are many, many other valid view points out there. I sometimes make them explain those viewpoints to me, just to be sure that they get it. I don't want my children to be like me. I want them to be themselves - independent and capable of thinking for themselves.

In our area, home schooled children are segregated because the parents do not want them to think for themselves, or be exposed to other ideas. They want children who will walk a line that the parents proscribe for them. Those children will struggle when they realize that their parents ideas/ideals were wrong, or that there are other (valid) ways to look at the world.

There are exceptions, but this has been my experience with home schooled adults. There was a time in my life when I believed that sheltering my future children was a good idea. That is no longer the case. I am glad that I wised up before they were old enough to attend school...

 

[SavannahDare]

I'm the product of Florida public schools (70's and early-80's) and got a very good education. My mother was very involved in my education, didn't think twice about having the school switch my teachers on the few occasions I got assigned to the ones with reputations for laziness, and she insisted on academics coming before all else. I was well-equipped academically and socially for college and med school.

Our girls attend public school here on the coast of Mississippi. Despite the horrible reputation of most of the public schools in the rest of the state, most of the schools in our coastal counties do a fine job. I do worry a bit that my girls' schools are nearly all-white, as I would like them to have more ethnic exposure, but I like that they get exposed to kids from all sorts of socio-economic walks of life. They wear uniforms and I love that! Sort of levels the playing field, so to speak, for the kids from poorer families.

So long as my kids are getting a good education (my husband and I are very involved too), I'm perfectly comfortable with public schools. It really has to do with what is available in your area and what ends up meeting your kids' needs, and only you know your kids' needs.

 

[Frozen Sooner]

We have a few years left to decide where to send our youngsters, but I have seemed to be in more discussions recently with people who feel very passionately about each of these options. Here are some common thoughts I hear expressed.

Pros
Public Schools: To have more "real world" experience. The kids see the reality of some kids who grow up poor, and of course, the schools are less costly to attend.
Private Schools: They have higher demands in behavior and academics. The kids in the schools likely come from families who care about academics, college preparation, and the overall well-being of their children. Athletics are often very competitive.
Home Schools: Curriculum can be made to reinforce beliefs that may not be taught at public or private schools, yet are not as costly as private schools. Curriculum can be at the pace of the child, instead of moving at a rate that may cause many children to be either left behind, or kept back.

Cons
Public Schools: Poor oversight, kids get in more trouble, and academic standards are either very poor, or are more bureaucratic than practical.
Private Schools: Many are very costly, and wrought with nepotism. Many are also seen as "White" schools with very little interaction with people with any kinds of differences (many are denominational meaning kids only interact, not only with Christians, but with that one single denomination, et al).
Home Schools: Children do not get the socialization that students at public and private schools normally get. Some experiences are difficult to have that most children have - P.E. class, high school athletics, prom, spirit days, and things of the like.

My personal opinion is that all of these options stink, and yet none of them will mean the demise of my children. I have taught in both public and private schools, and I will say while almost all of my students at the public school came from either one parent homes, or no biological parent homes, many of the parents at the private school depended on the teachers to do the parenting.
In my opinion, it all comes down to parenting, and making the decision that you as parents and the child feel most comfortable with. Different settings might be better for different kids. If one kid is not really a leader, and is more of a follower, sending him to an inner city school might not be the best option, but a private school is not necessarily the answer by itself either.
I had a student at the public school that got an academic scholarship to Stanford, and played volleyball there. I had one student at the private school that I know of who is in prison. Granted, one of my public school kids was on the TBI's (Tennessee Bureau of Investigation) most wanted list for shooting another one of my students (not sure if he still is on the list or not).
I will say that I have known many home schooled children, and none of them have ever gotten into big trouble that I am aware of. But, I do not want to confuse a kid "not getting into trouble" with complete parental success. Many have difficulty socially, and tend to focus on theoretical and academic fields (as opposed to career fields such as real estate, engineering, and architecture).

So, what are your thoughts? What do you plan to do with your kids, or what did you do with your kids? What were your experiences as a kid, and what are your thoughts on those experiences?

Based on your post, you've already spent time in the teaching profession and are versed in various theories and practices of pedagogy.

If you've got the ability to spend the time to homeschool your kids, I'd say go for it. I'm extremely in favor of homeschooling in the case of well-educated and involved parents-I don't think there's ANY kind of classroom setting that can give as good an educational experience as hands-on one-on-one instruction.