May I share my testimony and maybe shed some light on this subject.....I've lived the prodigal son thing.
When I was 9 , a friend accepted Christ and tried to witness to me. I, being the grandson of two Southern Baptist ministers, knew everything this friend shared, except the fact that I had to personally accept Christ as my savior myself. Well, I had spent more time in church than in my own bedroom, so I figured I'll go forward this Sunday at altercall....no biggy. Well, I tried to make myself do so for almost 2 years. For some reason , the kid who sang in the choir since age 5 was now scared to move. June 7, 1984..... Vacation Bible School....Thursday. Small church. No way would I admitt I was lost in front of several of my peers at age 11. My grandfather gave an opportunity to come forward, mom was playing "Just As I Am" on the piano.....no way....uh-uh. Next thing I knew I was running to the alter. Granddad knelt and asked me if I knew what to do and I said yep. Was baptised on the 17th of the same month.
Fastforward to highschool. I had one 1 ONE girlfriend in highschool. We broke up because I was saving myself (virgin) and she wanted to give it away. Graduated and stared dating this awesome girl. Fell in love and temptation turned into sin.....but hey , we loved each other and would marry anyway....sooooooo. Yeah , right. We broke up after a year. Started drinking to numb that pain. Dated a few more girls.....fell for another a year or so later....didn't wait a week till I was sexually active. She introduced me to marijuanna. We broke up....dated several females.....all at the same time..... at one time was sexually active with three women within a span of two days.....and this was continueous relationships.
Went to a party....smoked a quarter with a friend, downed a fifth of Jack and a fifth of Montezuma. Drove to Hardee's in Pinson to "sober up" enough to drive home. Met a beautiful woman there who had just come back from a Pinson football game with her little sister. Got her phone number, called her....met her for dinner, became sexually active with her, fell in love and married her within a year. I backed off weed when we married because she didn't like it, but still drank quite a bit. In 1999 she wanted to visit a church where a friend of hers was going. No big deal. We went, I hated it....end of story, right ?
She wanted to go again, so we did......and at the end of service she went forward and asked Christ into her heart. Well, I figured it was time for me to return to what I knew as a "kid" , so I'd give church a chance again. I knew I was saved, but a ton of crap was sitting between me and God. I remember driving back home from work that Monday night repenting to God and noticing He wasn't responding like he did when I was 10 years younger. I cried...it hurt so bad....I realized I had been so wrong and I had to admitt it to myself and God. Then the bottom fell out. God spoke to me and said " You were supposed to lead your wife to me and you did nothing " I was crushed. Never before has any man ...let me say that again.... NEVER BEFORE HAS ANY MAN been more devistated than I was at that very moment at how far I had walked away from the only one who loved me unconditionally. Well, me and God ironed things out , but then he challenged me. "Go repent to your wife too". Man, that was hard..... I got home and went and sat in our bedroom floor and told her I was sorry for not being the man she needed me to be and asking her to forgive me.
Fastforward to April 13th, 2005: I am an ordained deacon at Agape Baptist Church in Pinson, AL. I am a worship leader currently playing in the praise band and leading our youth worship on wednesday nights. I've been married for 11 awesome years to a saint of a woman. God has blessed me "good measure pressed down, shaken together, and running over".
During those years of rebellion, had I died , I would still have been saved and thus still able to walk into heaven, but I can't fathom the shame of having Jesus turn to God and say "yeah.....he's mine" because I sure wasn't acting like I am His. Here's the thing though.....since I am His , even though I wandered far away from His will for my life , He chased me....He never gave up on me.... THAT is why I love Him so....He has NEVER let me down....He has NEVER failed me.....and when I was unfaithful, He remained faithful.
If you have received Christ as your savior , you know it....God will let you know.....He don't play around about that. If you are His child , I don't believe you can outrun His love and His grace and mercy. He'll eventually run you over with it.
Gotta shout !!!!! HE REIGNS !!!!
Hope that helps someone......it felt good to share it, so maybe the one who needed to be ministered to was myself. Anywho.....God sure is good.
