Indeed, that is true. Your problem is not that most of your peeps are a bunch of nuts, it's that the nuts you do have are extremely loud and tend to get most of the press coverage. As faith in the press continues to plummet into the depths of hell where it belongs, more and more people are turning to independent media and learning just how much they didn't know.
The whole gender issue would be a non-issue except for one thing and that is the encroachment of it in our education system and to a larger degree, in the entertainment industry. Yes, more and more people are pushing back against it for this reason. The average person could care less what some 30 year-old dresses up as, but he or she cares a great deal when they feel like indoctrination is being pushed onto their kids (as well they should.) I wouldn't want some fundamentalist in a classroom attempting this on my kids; why should I feel differently about the blue-hairs? Like it or not, the numbers are changing and while I can't buy the notion that it is the sole reason for the election outcome, it did contribute. Why?
I think of it as the ideological scale. Most people are like me (I think.) There are many issues I have liberal views of and there are issues I have conservative views of. I hate the whole left-right paradigm, but that is what is forced on us by a complicit and corrupted election system, so I have to go with that for the purposes of this post. Whichever side is heaviest on the scale is the direction we vote for. The scales tips and changes as the years go by and the parties make subtle (and not so subtle) changes and social conventions evolve. I think Dems raced a bit too far ahead of themselves and now they need to dial it back.
Again, I'm referring to the party at-large; not individuals such as yourself. I said elsewhere in this thread that it's time for the Dems to reign in the loud nutbags and take their party back and it starts with finding the reasonable and logical dems who don't reduce themselves into pearl-clutching hysterics the very nanosecond they hear an opinion they don't like. There are plenty of these people left in your party, but they have been bullied into silence. Fix this issue and I think you might be surprised how many of your problems fix themselves.