Where do you (and your spouse) stand on lunch with co-worker of the opposite sex?

[Bamabuzzard]

thought about this thread today because there are 2 coworkers that have been doing this for a while now. going to lunch just the 2 of them, constantly talking in an office with the door closed, they "hang out" outside of the office. not saying there is something going on but looks like it to me. I guess they are both kind of single, so not that big a deal

Isn't that like "kind of" pregnant?

 

[Bamaro]

thought about this thread today because there are 2 coworkers that have been doing this for a while now. going to lunch just the 2 of them, constantly talking in an office with the door closed, they "hang out" outside of the office. not saying there is something going on but looks like it to me. I guess they are both kind of single, so not that big a deal

I will.
What is 'kind of single'?

 

[Tidewater]

Not saying never do it, just be very careful.

 

[DzynKingRTR]

I will.
What is 'kind of single'?

the guy says he is single, but has about 3 or 4 women he is stringing along

 

[BamaMoon]

thought about this thread today because there are 2 coworkers that have been doing this for a while now. going to lunch just the 2 of them, constantly talking in an office with the door closed, they "hang out" outside of the office. not saying there is something going on but looks like it to me. I guess they are both kind of single, so not that big a deal

If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks.....you get it.

As for the OP, I agree with most here on this subject. I wouldn't say it could NEVER happen, but it would have to be a very rare moment and my wife would obviously know about it.

32 years of marriage and ministry and I know way too many stories of how a casual lunch/meeting can start something that leads to something way bigger.

When I do premarital counseling I discuss spending time with others of the opposite sex and I discourage it. It's just not worth the risk.

 

[Jon]

I've discussed this before but I do a lot of mentoring of young people in my industry. That often takes place at lunches and dinners especially when traveling for work. Over the last 10-15 years tech went from mostly nerdy dudes like to me lots and lots more women. Also unlike when I started there were a few nerdy women, now tech is cool so over the last decade or so we have more and more very attractive very smart women in the field. I often have dinners, drinks, lunches with them and Mrs J doesn't care a bit because after 32 years together she knows 1, I have no game and 2 that she can trust me completely. I feel the same with her

 

[Bamabuzzard]

If it looks like a duck, waddles like a duck, quacks.....you get it.

As for the OP, I agree with most here on this subject. I wouldn't say it could NEVER happen, but it would have to be a very rare moment and my wife would obviously know about it.

32 years of marriage and ministry and I know way too many stories of how a casual lunch/meeting can start something that leads to something way bigger.

When I do premarital counseling I discuss spending time with others of the opposite sex and I discourage it. It's just not worth the risk.

Most people do not get up in the morning saying "I'm going to look to have an affair today". The few people I know who either had an affair or their spouse had one on them said at one point or another (before having the affair), that they'd never cheat on their spouses. Unfortunately, life's circumstances can wear a person down, and someone can be in the "right" wrong place at the "right" wrong time, and something that otherwise would have never been a thought in someone's mind becomes a thought. Life is hard and the trials and tribulations of life can wear on even the best of people and moments and/or seasons of vulnerability aren't uncommon for even the strongest of us.

 

[Bamaro]

"And lead us not into temptation"
Good words to follow!

 

[alabama mike1]

Probably not the best idea to go alone with someone of the opposite sex.

 

[Bamabuzzard]

"And lead us not into temptation"
Good words to follow!

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"

 

[DzynKingRTR]

I will say that I have been on the other side of this. An ex was "having lunch" with her boss all the time. Let's just say there is a reason she is an ex.

 

[Bamabuzzard]

I will say that I have been on the other side of this. An ex was "having lunch" with her boss all the time. Let's just say there is a reason she is an ex.

As I said above, it normally happens with two truly innocent parties. Most people do not wake up looking to have an affair. A lot of the time it is a progression that starts innocent, then subtly progresses to more. Then without even realizing it, some feelings have formed. It happens when married couples "hang out" too much or a co-worker gets too comfortable around another co-worker. Conversations go beyond work-related and what was supposed to be a one-time lunch outing to talk about work, turns into a common occurrence of casual non-work lunches.

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weeeeak"

 

[bamanut_aj]

Happily married for 27 years - my wife and I have both always trusted one another but we also don't put ourselves in situations where people can talk (or we can be tempted). So no, I wouldn't go to a 'non working' lunch with a female co-worker, and my wife wouldn't with a male coworker.

My marriage and my wife's trust are far more important to me than any work relationship. And frankly, if a coworker didn't understand this about me, it's safe to assume they don't know me well enough to ask me to lunch anyway.

The world is attacking your marriage constantly - you have to actively protect it.

we said it in church recently......the devil wakes up every morning, committed to ruining your marriage and your family. What are you waking up committed to?

 

[Bamaro]

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"

To put it another way and rephrased and cleaned up for this board, wood has no conscience. Looses a little in the translation but that was the gist of the old saying.

 

[Go Bama]

I work with women. My youngest employee is 21. She and I bring our lunch to work while the other two employees either go home or out to eat. The young girl and I never see each other at lunch. She either eats in her car or at her desk. I always eat at my desk. Of course, I'm 69 and she's 21 so there's that.

Cyndi and I have been married for 28 years. My family is my entire world and they all know it. There is no temptation at all.