As with anything that starts out with good intentions. When people are involved, it doesn't take long to get out of hand and become counter productive. The "we're just out here to have fun" mantra started from a legitimate point. "Winning" and "winning at all cost" in many cases with youth sports, had gotten out of hand. However, in the move to correct it, came a point of "over correction". Which is where we are currently. Somewhere in the correction, wanting to win the game, having a strong drive to win, holding kids to a standard of effort became a part of the criteria of "You're out here for the wrong reasons" and "You're taking it too seriously". "To be out here for the right reasons" means you have to exhibit no desire to win the game, not expect the kids to give a 100% effort, overly praising them no matter what they do or how they do it and god forbid under NO CIRCUMSTANCE do you criticize the kid. What most people call "positive reinforcement" is nothing more than code word for coddle little johnny and tell him what a great job he's doing no matter how wrong he's doing it. That it's better to not hurt his feelings than telling him he's doing something wrong,, show him what he's doing wrong and do things to correct it.
From a personal standpoint, I use youth sports (in this case baseball) to teach my kids lessons about life. I push them to get better, I pick them up and encourage them when they look to be losing confidence. I jump their butt when I feel that's what they need. I teach them no matter whether they win or lose, to give it their all and at the end of it all if you lose the game. Then oh well. You did your best. No need to hang your head. But the design and nature of sports (in which they keep score) is to win the game. And there's absolutely NOTHING wrong with teaching a kid to want to win. I don't see how anyone can try to instill in a kid the drive to succeed and to give it their all yet at the same time not care about winning or losing. It's counter productive to what you're trying to teach the kid. I've NEVER seen a kid or an adult at that, have a good to great work ethic, yet care nothing about the final results. I've just never seen it.
I think part of the problem is that you've got a lot people who on a personal level don't like how competition makes them feel. It makes them feel uncomfortable. So they think it makes everyone feel that way. But in reality a lot of people enjoy how competition makes them feel. It brings a good and positive feeling to them. I loved and still love competition. It creates an exciting and fun atmosphere. However, I do know competition isn't for everybody. Some people get anxiety (the bad kind) and it makes them sick to their stomach. They run from it at all costs or they break their necks to remove it from the situation they're in by making people feel bad. IMO, people like this need to find something else for them and their kids to do, rather than trying to convey the false narrative that competition and wanting to win is a bad thing. I completely understand now why travel ball (with any youth sport) has taken off the way it has.
DT_Aliboronz_20:
