Joke thread - including cartoons, memes, and misc - Part IX

[crimsonaudio]

 

[rolltide_21]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2028306801440231515

 

[CrimsonJazz]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2028306801440231515

Thanks for the nightmares.

 

[Bamaro]

For you Bazza

 

[OakMtn4Bama]

 

[92tide]

 

[crimsonaudio]

A guy walks into a bar wearing a Awbarn Tiger jersey and carrying a cat that also has an Awbarn jersey on with a Awbarn helmet on his head, too.

The guy says to the bartender, "Can my cat and I watch the Awbarn game here? My TV at home is broke, and my cat and I always watch the game together."

The bartender replies, "Normally, cats wouldn't be allowed in the bar, but it's not very busy in here right now, so you and the cat can have a seat at the end of the bar.

But, if there's any trouble with you or the cat, I'll have to ask you to leave"

The guy agrees, and he and his cat start watching the game.

Pretty soon the Tigers kick a field goal and the excited cat jumps up on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.

The bartender says, "Hey, that's pretty cool! What does he do for a touchdown?"

The guys answers, "I don't know, I've only had him for 2 years."

 

[Bazza]

For you Bazza

Sorry not seeing anything, @Bamaro

 

[Bamaro]

Sorry not seeing anything, @Bamaro

It appears that the original source has been removed. It showed someone with a Blue Heeler chosing carpet based on holding 2 gray/blue carpet samples next to their dog.

 

[Bamaro]

 

[Bazza]

It appears that the original source has been removed. It showed someone with a Blue Heeler chosing carpet based on holding 2 gray/blue carpet samples next to their dog.

OK thanks - sorry I missed that one!

 

[crimsonaudio]

While reading an article about fathers and sons having their first drink together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink.

We went to a bar just two blocks from the house.

I got her a Sam Adams. She didn’t like it. so I drank it. Then I got her a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Same thing — so I drank that too. Then I tried a Blue Moon. Nope… drank that as well.

Thinking maybe she’d prefer something stronger, I ordered a Tito’s and soda. She wouldn’t touch it… so I drank it.

In desperation, I even got a top-shelf bourbon — the bar’s finest. She wouldn’t even smell it… so I drank that too.

By the time I realized she just didn’t like to drink, I was so drunk I could barely push her stroller home.

 

[Bamaro]

 

[crimsonaudio]

 

[CrimsonJazz]

The fact that Tiger has 2 DUI arrests and John Daily has zero, is mind blowing.

I would have lost that bet for sure.

https://twitter.com/x/status/2038736941009489963

 

[crimsonaudio]

 

[crimsonaudio]

It's true tho...

 

[Elefantman]

How cool it would be to have Christopher Walken as your school janitor??